Lifestyle & Travel
Feb 1, 2017
LOVE IN TINDER TIMES
In the month in which it is celebrated "Valentine's Day" or "Lover´s Day", as it is also known the 14th of February, we reflect on how people today relate and know each other. Far goes the time of dating to the window, at least in most of the world. The same world where, on the one hand, there are weddings destined from the cradle, and on the other hand, a multitude of choices in matters of love relationships.
If we go back to years 1980, and the work of the Colombian writer, Gabriel García Márquez, "Love in the Times of Cholera", we recall the love story of Florentino and Fermina, who met because of the telegraph profession played by the protagonist. Florentino met Fermina for delivering correspondence to her father, and it was by letter, and after two years that he asked her to marry him. It took her four months to respond, saying she accepted, but for her, the bond could only happen two years later. However, her father discovers the exchange of correspondence between them, and understands that his daughter must follow another course. The "lovers" are close to 53 years with almost no contact... but love wins.
Gradually, we went from stories like this, portrayed in books and films, to a "multiplicity of possible love triangles", which can take place simultaneously, and are very proportionate by social networks. Of course, in this game it is up to each one to make decisions. Be happy for a bit, or for a lifetime, looking for a fleeting relationship or the true love, what do social networkers like Tinder really for?! No one can give an exact answer, as it is predictable in matters of the heart. There are, however, theories and analyses about its users behaviour.
Briefly, Tinder is a dating site that uses geolocation data and Facebook to put users in communication, based on the premise that they are interested in meeting personally, and in most cases, there is a "romantic" intention, availability of very worked photos, and erotic and sexual language. In a simple, comfortable, and in few minutes, you can have a flirt. The process is easy, by viewing someone's image on the main page, you can click on the image and access more photos and information. If you like the person, slide the photo to the right, if you don´t like, slide to the left. If the person you choose also likes you, there is what is called a "match", and from there you have three options: send a private message to the other, share the correspondence on Facebook or continue looking for interesting people, because if you don´t like, nobody will know.
Tinder also tells you the people who are available within a distance ranging from 2 to 160 kilometres from where you are, making it easy for you to meet if you wish. The method is "as fast as lighting a match".
This form of relationship provides very specific situations, such as the designated "family impasse", that is, there are users who "match" members of the same family; there are people who go straight to the subject saying very objectively that they do not want to make friends, but have a sexual encounter; others use it to promote and do business; and who wants to play, enjoy or have fun.
Theories divide. Some see the application as an easy way for promiscuous behaviours, based on shallow choices made from a photograph. Whoever looks at it as a tool that helps to deceive loneliness, or to conceal relational and compromising problems. It is also seen, including by psychologists, as a mean of meeting new people while traveling to a new destination. People who are shy, introverted, insecure, with less social resources, are thus more protected from rejection because they practice a seductive behaviour, getting encounters that otherwise would hardly happen.
In a monogamous society, the application should only be used by uncommitted people, in fact it is not so, and not all societies are monogamous. There are always those who can see the gaps and see business opportunities where others encounter problems. In this sense, the Swipebuster website has appeared to help people who suspect that the partner is secretly using Tinder. For 4.99 dollars, you can search for three users, using the person's first name, age, and location where the app was last used.
Tinder data indicate that half of the users are single, about 15 million are married, and 12% are dating. Men spend more time in the app, they get on average eight and a half minutes, one more minute than women. In general, users of both sexes are active eleven times a day.
Although Tinder CEO, Sean Rad, sees the app as a «social discovery platform», it continues to be associated with a sexually oriented dating site.
Theories aside, given the abundance of choices in relationships, we blocked. We have become more demanding, undecided, frustrated, always looking for something better. Sex is as affordable as any other fast-paced commodity. Interestingly, studies indicate that young adults today have less sex than previous generations.
Accumulating "matches" in Tinder, jumping from window to window on Facebook, or swapping photos and videos with red ball in WhatsApp are some of the applications that possibly occupy too much time for people in general. In this way, it is easy to fall into the illusion that you have many friends, you are popular, beautiful, or that you love and are loved. In this game, where "love is a kind of fire that burns without being seen", since people do not always know each other personally, where it is also discarded and discarded as faster as the phosphor lights the flame.
According with Tinder, this social network is present in 196 countries, available in 30 different languages, and it has already conquered more than 50 million users, every day it makes happen more than 12 million "matches"! (Happy dates).
If there are stories of eternal love, it is unknown, because the app is recent, but there are those who claim to have found the "true love".